Introduction By: Richard Roy, Director of Franchise Operations
In October 2001, The City Paper which is a newspaper in Nashville, TN printed an article about our then franchise, the Middle Tennessee Ghostbusters. This was most likely the first real article about a Ghostbusters fan club, sorta predating Ghostbusters International® printed by a newspaper during The 21st Century. The article, "Busting the Ghostbusters" is no longer properly archived on The City Paper website. Using there search engine, I was able to find it. I'm pretty sure as the article was archived, I'm not legally allowed to re-print it. I've always felt this article needed to be preserved. For some reason, I'm finally getting around to doing just that. If Susan Passi-Klaus, the reporter/writer of the article or The City Paper care that an article from 2001 is part of copyright violation, after being contacted, I will remove the offending content. To Ghostbusters International® members and Ghostbusters fans, enjoy the following article.
Busting the Ghostbusters
You?'re the manager of a well-known Rivergate pizza place and you think you have a possessed pizza oven. Or, maybe you?'re a Madison homeowner disturbed by doors in your house that mysteriously open and close for no reason. Perhaps you manage a Nashville hotel with a swimming pool full of gooey green slime and it?s not algae. Who you gonna call? Middle Tennessee Ghostbusters, of course. If you suspect that ghostly creatures are living rent-free in your attic, if your helping of dessert frequently disappears without a trace, or if you can lie in bed and hear your dead aunt Minnie playing the piano and then find pink slime on the piano keys after you fumble through the dark to investigate ,? then you may need the help of an not-so-honest-but-definitely-filled-with-goodness professional paranormal elimination service. Middle Tennesseans rely on entrapment expert and Middle Tennessee Ghostbusters (MTGB) founder Andy Mays, spectral photography and southern ghost folklore specialist Albert Roberts, and newcomer Brian McIntyre, a master of crypto zoology, to assuage their heebie jeebies. In just 10 years, the threesome?s successful Ghostbusters International® business has evolved from a local spook detection business to a national franchise that reportedly makes more than 15,000 service calls every year to homes throughout America. Their motto is, ?We're ready to believe you. We?'re just three grown up nerds who like to play dress up,? confessed Albert Brooks, spokesman for the trio. ?It?s just sort of a way to artificially extend our childhood for a little bit longer and get that Halloween feeling again. ?By being ghostbusters we get to trick-or-treat as adults one more time and still feel that magic we used to feel as kids,? he said. ?You put on the costume and you really are that person for just a second. And then people see you in public, point and say, ?Look, it?s a ghostbuster,? and for a split second you feel ?Yes I am.?? Oops, now the secret?s out! What? You mean the slime blower that shoots mood altering ectoplasm is really just an old oversized Crayola crayon tube with a handle made out of a toilet paper holder? The official Ghostbusters proton pack is only a couple of mini-M&M tubes, an oil drip pan and a push button box salvaged from an old toy and held together by hot glue? And what about the ecto-goggles, PKE and giga meters and the sniffer vapor detector? They really work? don?t they? Nope. And the hoax continues onto the internet through the official looking MTGB web site. It even has an online job application for ghostbuster wannabes and copies of headlines and magazine covers touting this ?legitimate business.? The scenes of these apparition fighting heroes luring paranormal pests from their hiding places isn?t the real thing, even though the pink ectoplasm looks really real. Nope, it?s all a figment of their imaginations ? ?an experiment in fabricated reality,? they call it. Still, many choose to believe. There will be some who just can?t fathom that the haunted dot com is just a hobby for three wacky Ghostbusters groupies with a knack for graphic design and an obsession with the 1984 movie blockbuster starring Dan Akroyd, Bill Murray and Harold Ramis. No Columbia Pictures, don?t send out the patent police. No money?s being made here, even for appearances at birthday parties, comic book conventions and Halloween costume contests. These are just three self-admitted ?dorks? that are in touch with their inner child and having fun delaying/escaping grown-up-hood. They just like to play around with fooling folks who don?t know quite what to believe when they?re introduced to the paranormal pest ridders. At their day jobs, they pretend to be sane. Albert?s a school art and design teacher. Andy?s a web site designer and Brian is a graphic artist for a local sign company. For understandable reasons, they refuse to reveal identities of their nine-to-five employers. And don?t tell anyone, but in real life, at least one of the busters admits he doesn?t even believe in ghosts. ?You?ll never meet anyone who is more skeptical about that stuff than I am,? Albert said. ?I always tell people I?d have to see one for myself and it?s going to have to stand right in front of me and say, ?Look at me. I?m a ghost.?? Such an admission could be bad for business especially since October is a ghostbusters biggest month of the year. And, terroristic tricks of late aren?t helping business either. ?This year, we had a woman at the Bellevue Mall ask us if we were decontamination guys for anthrax or something,? Albert said. ?We told her no, that we?re nothing nearly as serious or deadly. We?re just the ghostbusters.? And talkin? about bad for business - wait until your hear their prices. Now that?s scary. On-site inspections start at $500 and a ghost trapping cost $4000 and that?s just for the first entity. ?Storage? of the lost, then found paranormal trophies is a bargain at $1500. Then again, the service fees are just like the business itself ? ?an exercise in fabricated reality.? The thing that keeps the kooks from coming out of the cracks saying, ?Yeah, I want to hire you to come out and bust my ghosts,? is our pricing. Our prices are so outrageous that nobody ever says, ?Come do it. Come bust our ghosts.?? Just like the ghosts they hunt, the ghostbusters really have to be seen to be believed. They?re pretty convincing when they arrive at a haunting in their light blue Ecto-VW decked with hazard tape and ghostbuster logos and when they step into a crowd wearing gray Dickies overalls, utility belts, heavy duty chemical gloves and carrying a 20-pound proton pack on their backs they?re always greeted with cheers, not skepticism. ?People love the ghostbusters,? Albert laughed. ?We were at the Bellevue Mall and we were mobbed. We had high school kids who followed us around who wanted to be in pictures with us and old people who recognized us and came up to talk. Even little kids recognized the Ghostbusters, which is amazing for how old the movie is.? That means, of course, the happy hoax is working. ?We want people to look at us and think, ?Are they real? Are they legitimate?? Albert smiled mischievously. ?But, ghostbusters aren?t real? are they?? Then again, if ghosts are for real, and the Middle Tennessee Ghostbusters aren?t, who are we gonna call?
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