The Jersey Templars

Written By: Richard Roy, Director of Franchise Operations

 

We had heard a report that a major creep may be in the area at The Garden State Plaza. On Friday the 13th, I knew GSP was on the top of my list. I conferred with GBNJ CEO Bill Malkin over the matter. We definitely were in agreement that we should take a look. While we were at it, we'd meet and greet with the public, what our company likes to call a franchise gathering. What we didn't know then was that the creep was an old security guard and the paranormal were having for the most part there own gathering at the opposite end of the state.

Around 1 PM, we arrived at GSP, pulling into the parking garage. We geared up and were at least ready to do a sweep for valences before using our equipment to cause any unnecessary damage. Sure, we're not liable, but since we weren't called about GSP, we couldn't use the standard documentation. In that instance Bill and I both knew we saved Corp. big money, that would have most likely been spent on generic Aspirin.

We barely exited the GB Crusier before would-be shoppers would shout 'Ghostbusters!,' and the usual praise franchises are accustomed to when on an investigation or at a public appearance. We acknowledge our fans, yet had to do our best not to meet n greet too much as the P.K.E picked
up a few class IIs inside the 3 story parking garage. Bill and I got to work, feeling the chill from the wind (or was that from the poltergeists) as we used our ecto goggles to follow there movements.
Harder then you think, especially when a few of our more 'dedicated' fans are circling the garage near us. Where was security then huh? Nevertheless, we zapped and trapped the 3 class IIs and threw the full traps into our GB Crusier. Unfortunately my JZGBs Mark I was not fully
ready to use. I would have loved to have done a bench test that afternoon!

A moment later Bill and I walked the three levels down to the side entrance of GSP. Where more would-be shoppers and mall employees greeted us. Just before going inside, am ambitious
woman seemed too into us (even scaring us, a tough thing to do considering our line of work) so we quickened our pace and went inside. Fortunately this woman and her friend did not follow us. Inside GSP Bill and I started to do a major 'spook check,' all the while meeting
with the public, promoting our appearance, and naturally Ghostbusters International®. It seemed apparent no one expected us to be there. See folks, sometimes its great to just go out on an old supernatural day, you never know what to expect.

Just so we wouldn't surprise mall management any more, Bill and I ran into them, giving them the overview of what we were doing. We were under the impression all was well, until we rounded a corner and ran into the oldest, living security guard I ever met. Bill and I again explained about why we were at GSP on duty. This did not matter to Barney Fife. All he could do was make up reasons for us not to be carrying LICENSED nuclear accelerators. Or for the purpose of the franchise gathering, plastic and wood props. Obviously the old man had never seen Ghostbusters and didn't care why we were there. We were a threat, a THREAT! I wish I had written this when I was ticked off more, it would have made for a much better read. ALL we wanted to do was help and have fun, but mr. I should have retired 5 years ago wanted to protect his job. Little good that would have done had GSP had any more class IIs or above. By the way, Westfield Management, you will BE billed for the class IIs we did catch. That's only a small amount for what you put us through. YOUR great grandfather asked us to leave because Bill might take pictures. MIGHT! We were "thrown out" because Bill was carrying a camera. Now its a crime to be a photographer!?

Not just enough to tell us to go, mr. my uniform is neater then yours wanted us to take off our packs and other props. I think he even wanted us to take off our flight suits. Sounds a little .... ya know? And all right there inside the mall. Bill and I are not sure what he wanted us
to do. We refused and were vocal. I told the rent a cop (running out of ways to make fun of the guy) we had to go back in this direction to go to our ride in the parking garage. At this point we left the guard, talking about what was taking place. To my immediate surprise (a lot was happening) we had support from mall employees and our public. No one else wanted us to leave. We kept walking, making a slight scene that we were being kicked out and that no one should shop at Garden State Plaza ever again. We were only a few feet from the door when we spotted a skinny version of Hooks from Police Academy. She was watching our every move and radioing to Fife that (probably) we hadn't obeyed his 'I am the law' mentality. We told her we were leaving and moments ater, were climbing the same 3 flights of stairs back to the GB Crusier.

Most would have called it a day or at least went to lunch. Not us, we believed in what we do, were doing. We considered our options and decided. We went back to the sorta original plan for the day. We droveback to JZGB HQ to empty one trap into the grid and pick up ECTO C. After Bill and I fueled up our vehicles, we drove to Bill's territory. Where we fueled ourselves on JR. Cheeseburgers before proceeding to GBNJ HQ to dump the other trap in the grid, do equipment inspections, and handle a few calls. Luckily the biggest would be at the Jacksonville Outlet Center.

Once at the outlet, we did a wide sweep of the Center, starting from well...the center. The wind was picking up again and we knew that could only mean 'geists. We were definitely ready for them. Zapped and trapped in record breaking time. With our real work out of the way Bill and I walked around, gave out G.B.I business cards, and promoted the company. To our surprise (an impromptu part of the gathering) we were invited into Fossil. Where the ghosts there lived up to the store's
namesake. Proving our real work is never done. It took no time to end the paranormal party, bill Fossil our usual fees and then some. The employees and customers were so grateful for our services that Bill and I stayed a bit longer to pose for pictures that we still haven't seen. Guess they weren't that grateful after all. After leaving one of the customers asked us if we were available for a party in Princeton involving some kind of weird phobia. Bill and I quickly declined and
walked away.

The highlight of all highlights came when we walked by BOSE. Not normally a store that ghostbusters in full gear are going to be invited into. We talked to the fun loving, crazy sales guys. Trust me, they were insane. Or just high. Now I'll never see the pictures. Bill and I were afraid we'd be locked into there theater. Look, you know, we're ghostbusters, not magicians. I even talked over the phone to some huge fans of the movies and we waited longer as they rushed down to meet us. Along with this one girl who didn't get that we are real, but we aren't. It was almost a party as we were asked to say Ghostbusterish things into a microphone (that may have been hooked up
to speakers outside) for the guys amusement. We declined to be puppets, however did break into a little bit of karaoke session of Ray Parker Jr's, Ghostbusters. I made sure immediately after that Bill and I would make our exit. We left to cheers and applause. And if the BOSE guys had there way along with phone numbers belonging to dense, unintelligent, typical Jersey girls who just don't get it.

This gathering reminded me to always expect the unexpected, bring and use our own cameras when we can, and try to plan more accordingly. All in all it was a lot of fun, I won't ever forget it. I look forward to future franchise gatherings throughout the year.

Oh, to Barney and Hooks, bite me.

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